Sometimes I'm just completely empty, I start to feel like I'm not at all the one I'm trying to be all these days. All the steps I've taken towards something is just meaningless, they are just some stupid moves. I've yet to find what's the real me, this is not about the searching for the purpose kind of thing, it's just the search for just a reason to make the life, less boring.

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Sometimes I feel like I'm a good writer, sometimes I feel like whatever I write is just some artificially manufactured stupidity. The words don't mean anything, just my stupid thoughts. Then I start to search for something else I'm good at. It usually ends up at thinking about some sports, but that also end like before. I can't live out of a moment where I feel "it's not for me".

Writing is the only thing that gave a little bit of satisfaction among all the things I've done. Sometimes I don't even know where I'm heading to when I start to write. I'm usually trying to find out things from my brain. I never plan to only write about a certain thing when I start writing, I just try to keep up with the flow. If I knew what I was gonna write from the beginning to the end, I am not gonna write that.

It's the simple discoveries I have on the way of writing which comes naturally gives the flow to write, sometimes there will be things that I've never thought about. I found out a lot of facts while writing, an important one is there is a lot of useful information inside our head which we don't even know it's there. But a pen or a keyboard can be brought that to light.

Now when I write this I'm just trying to find the reason to my sadness which I couldn't find any reason for, so I am just writing the thoughts and I hope it may lead me to the reason for the sadness. I've come from a single idea to this much far, I knew that there' still more inside my head which could keep up the writing. What I'm just trying to say is the way to make the writing part more interesting and beautiful.

It's not only the part where I get the rewards which I love, but it's also the part where I could see the words filling up the page. I usually write short stories once in a while, it's one of the interesting things that I do. It's just too beautiful. If I have the right mindset all I have to do is just to establish a simple character and he himself tells the story. All I have to got to do is just write it down, If I knew the character well I knew what choices he makes along the way, but some characters always wondered me.

I think that's just most of the thought that came into my mind about writing. Maybe it's not at all just about writing, it could be in the case of any other things also. The interest in the thing always helps keep the flow in the process.

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