How Far Have You Gone?
I was running in the rain, it's one of those things from childhood which still hadn't lost it's fun. It's not at all about winning the race with the rain, it's just about being in the rain. It has been years I had come to the home, all I was remembering was a muddy road which comes just before the bridge on the left side.
I knew that wherever I go I will come back here, there was a shop where that road starts, the last shop on the way home. It was in old woman's, with general things, an all in all store.
When it was summer I bought bottled fruit juices and walked towards my home taking small sips to make it last until I reach home. Now the shop's closed, I didn't have enough time to take a more close look at the shop cause it's raining.
I left home because of the small issues I had with my parents. I still remember those last words I have spoken to them, I blamed them for all the failure I was. I blamed them for making me a complete loser. I told them that I need freedom and I am leaving.
I didn't have any clear idea about where to go, I just knew that my friend was in the city and he will help me, if don't I was planned to take any job to satisfy the hunger. I wanted to leave that place, that was all I wanted at that moment.
After a week I started missing my home, it was not just about the parents. It is about the feel of the use "my home". It had something soothing and magical effect, even when I had more privacy and a more healthy environment at my friend's place.
I still thank him for what he had made me, always giving me the inspiration to move forward. All I had to do there was focusing on some skill be and become good at it and find a job. I started trying out everything as much as I can, finally taking some courses online I got a decently paying job. That's the stage I completely forgot home. I was becoming something else.
I was running on a race, which everyone at my age where. I wanted more, wanted to increase my territories. Finally, after achieving some dumb medals at different stages I am coming back to home. A decent financial status is the only thing I have. I'm still that kid with all the stupidness.
I'm all wet now, I still have to run more to reach my house, there's mud all over my pants. I was enjoying all that, it felt like some way of purifying me to have the purity to enter this world. Then a familiar house on the left side made me slow down. Still, remember those windows. It's her house, I looked through the windows. I was searching for those eyes that always loved me. It wasn't there.
I ran for hours, I forgot the way back. Her house was as far as I could reach. I'm still stuck in the loop, the muddy road ends up with her house where she is not even there. Then I found out that there is no home out there for me. I need a different road to reach there, which is still far away.
header image is made with canva]
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