Night's getting colder, I can't sleep, It's not fear that takes the sleep away from me, it's regret. Regrets about the things I wanted to do today and I haven't done. Now it became a routine, but today it's just hard to cope with. Both my mind and weather are against me, The only thing I could do is find a misdirection.

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The sad fact is there isn't any. Every thought leads me to thoughts about the future and that goes towards the things I haven't done to make the future better. I've heard a lot of people talking about living in the present, even I spread that mantra to some of my stupid friends. Seriously, I still couldn't find a situation in favour of this statement.

Whenever I get something or I lose something the thoughts are like 'When I was gonna get that again' or 'When I was gonna lose that again'. There is no peace that lasts a little longer even if it's an achievement or a loss. Within minutes the new journey starts, the journey to achieve more or the journey to get back what I have lost. If you have found the things above complex, then the thoughts while I'm on the bed to sleep is more complex than that.

I have been a big fan of quotes, I have searched for more and more quotes every day to find a quote that could define all my life, or gives a single direction to live all this life.

I haven't yet found any perfect one's, I have tried to stick to some of those I have found interesting. But when it comes to my poor reality it isn't making any sense. I want some ideal people around me to live an ideal life. Nowadays I feel like even if there are ideal people around me, I will be the same old stupid kid.

I love sleeping, I think most of us love it. Not kids, they always want to play, I have seen a lot of baby faces starting cry when they found out their mother is going to put them to bed. Their face was like someone's taking their freedom to be awake. It's a big crime if it's in the case of an adult, but as we grew up all we wanted is just that sleep.

I want to sleep, even if you don't want it, I want it very much. There's no pure state like it, everywhere else there's a little bit of faking in all our attitude. When I say "Our" or "Ours" don't think that it's also about you, it's the kind of way I learned to write. Including all the good guy's around me to my boring common man club.

Nobody wants to be a common man, everyone still believes they are unique and has some special qualities than others. I also believe it, I don't want to be like you, I'm special.

Maybe that's all this life is, "proving ourselves we are special."

I don't know where that quote came from, I haven't planned to reach this quote in the end. I was just writing my boring thoughts, and finally, I came up with my own quote. I don't know someone said that before, I always believe everything comes from an inspiration. No one can create something from nothingness. So my subconscious has the source of it, it may be an output which came out of different sources of information.

Still, I can't find sleep. Maybe I need to try something else, a boring movie could do that. I don't have anything in my mind. Maybe I will just browser through Netflix to find it until it's morning. I don't know, anyway I think it's time to stop thinking, not forever.

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